unicorn frappuccino free printable coloring pages

No one should be drinking 76 grams of sugar in a small cup. Is the FDA busy? Can we wake them up? Oh. HOW IS THIS LEGAL? There’s gotta be some regulation against beverages that can cause you instant type 2 diabetes when you were previously a healthy human. Folks gon need instant shots of insulin behind this. I think it’s some pharmaceutical company’s conspiracy to continue to profit off our collective pain cuz if we all drink this, surely we’ll need to be on some hard prescription drugs to reverse the effects. It is basically a government tool created to rot us all from the inside.

The label of the Unicorn Frappuccino is available on the Starbucks website and it shows there are 76 grams of sugar in every 24 oz. I am not brave enough to find out what it really tastes like but a piece on the Washington Post says it tastes like “sour birthday cake and shame.” I trust them. The way my adult chompers are set up, they hurt at the sight of the Unicorn Frap. It looks like it tastes like red food dye, peppermint sticks and teeth fillings. It is basically the dreams of Hansel and Gretel and dentists who need to fund their new vacation homes come true. Because someone’s 7 year old sweet-obsessed kid was allowed to create a recipe for a global food chain. According to the Starbucks site, it has milk, whipped cream, frappuccino syrup, mango syrup, pink powders, blue drizzle (WHET?), sour blue powders.

This drink is nothing but a weapon of mass diabetes, because even looking at a picture of the thing makes me feel like I need to go detox. It is a frozen drink that is both sweet and sour and topped with some pink and blue sugars. It’s a limited edition offering, available nationwide until April 23. Honestly, folks do not want us to have nice things, like long lives where we don’t struggle with the gout or an extreme case of “the sugars.” Folks like Starbucks, who just released a new drink called the Unicorn Frappuccino.

Unicorn frappuccino free printable coloring pages